22/3/15 Blog 2.

An interesting week for looking out for issues on growing old.

On the BBC News watch there was a complaint about the way older people – and they said over 50s – were portrayed – always with walking aids or knarled hands.

This struck at my perception of me:  I was shocked that older people started from over 50s – yes that does include me and I dint think I was old yet!. Are older people always those older than me?

Also what is wrong with walking aids and knarled hands – and these are not just the provenance of older people though probably more common. Is it that people with walking aids are pigeon holed as not worth listening too? Vegetating? Of no value so we don’t want to be like that? And ditto for knarled hands – a function of arthritis. Do we condemn young people with arthritis? – that now takes us into disabled issues and shows how complex and interlocking attitudes to growing old and “the elderly” are.

Walking Aids in our life this week:  I took my mother for her eye check-up. She remarked “Do you have to have a walking stick to qualify to come here” and yes she has one which she uses sometimes – and not as often as she should which drives me mad as I don’t want her to fall over.  Sometimes she looks like Charlie Chaplin the way she waddles around just holding it in her hand rather than leaning on it to steady herself.  I remember her having the same frustrations with her mother, my grandmother.  Also like her mother before her she refuses to use a walking frame when she needs to.  I may be the same.

Definitions of “older people/elderly? 

What is growing old? When are we elderly? Is it purely an age thing? How do we factor in the decline physically and mentally into this aging concept?

Why need a definition at all? Well others define us, and one day they will also be in the definition. It is used to target benefits and help, dictates finance like pensions however the down side is how it is used to negatively define us.

Hair colour – another “defining feature”? The chap who had made the complaint was interviewed.  Clearly not with a walking aid or knarled hands but had white hair and white beard another essentially age defining characteristic.  This made me look more at hair colour in my local town. I was astonished at how common grey or white hair was in this mixed age town. This led me to ponder  why we don’t think white or grey is a normal colour for hair and an attainment of maturity rather than associated with old age and possible “decrepitude”.  When did this start? It wasn’t always like this? My history lessons seemed to imply veneration for older people. Another thing I must investigate further.

On the internet   I came across these wonderful advice points written by a senior citizen.  These struck me as something I was seeking  and so I feel duty bound to post them as they arrived with me:-

Written by a 90 year old
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old,
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 42 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
   2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
   3. Life is too short – enjoy it..
   4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will.
   5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
   6. You don’t have to win every argument. Stay true to yourself.
   7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
   8. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
   9. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
   10. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
   11. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
   12. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
   13. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it…
   14 Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
   15. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful. Clutter weighs you down in many ways.
   16. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
   17. It’s never too late to be happy. But it’s all up to you and no one else.
   18. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
   19. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
   20. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
   21. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
   22. The most important sex organ is the brain.
   23. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
   24. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will this matter?’
   25. Always choose life.
   26. Forgive but don’t forget.
   27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
   28. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
   29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
   30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does..
   31. Believe in miracles.
   32. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
   33. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
   34. Your children get only one childhood.
   35. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
   36. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
   37. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.
   38. Envy is a waste of time. Accept what you already have not what you need.
   39. The best is yet to come…
   40. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
   41. Yield.
   42. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”