Apologies for delays in posting:

Firstly apologies, I aimed to post weekly. But have been pre-occupied. I haven’t produced anything “worthy” or suitable for posting and have also had input saying add pictures. This is a good idea but I am both artistically and technologically challenged.  Thus not posting in a perfect way stopped me in my tracks.  Admittedly having work again has also changed me.   As I said before I find this change so very interesting.

Family messages about time

I continue to wonder about how we regard time and how we use and regard it in our lives.  I was brought up with my grandmother admonishing me “ don’t wish your life away” or don’t waste time it will never come back” .  My mother feels her time is pointless as she had no purpose and she feels not needed.  So it is not surprising that being retired brought up feelings of being on the junk heap, or anxiously wondering what to do.

Helpful attitudes I have come across recently

I have come across some very positive attitudes towards retirement time which I want to share as they have lead me to further thinking:-

1. Conversations at work – What do you do all day? This is apparently a common question.

I joined in a conversation about the role of returning to work to top up the pension between as yet to be retired 50yr old and a 67 year old who returns one day a week to top up the pension income.  In discussing the requirements of retirement “what do you do with yourself all day” is a question she gets asked a lot.  She reported that she replies “Whatever I fancy”.  I was delighted to hear her follow on and say “I have worked for the right to do what I want and have my time as my own. I can go out or just potter, do ostensibly very little if I don’t want to do anything much that day or go our visit family friends, whatever I fancy”.         I loved this acceptance and non- judgment of self, her ownership of her own time to dispose of she pleased.  Following this example when I feel guilty I say to myself I have earned the right to do whatever I like with my own time. That seems to help keep me grounded here in my life, feel Ok about whatever I am or am not doing.  I do not have to justify myself to anyone, especially myself and my inner voice as to whether what I am doing is “good or bad”.

2. I also loved a saying seen in an advert for a magazine for “The Oldie”

“There is endless time to please yourself the moment you abolish the need to accomplish something”.  Phillip Callow

3. I remember my first father in law planning to do consultancy work when first retired – and he was popular,but within 6 months gave it up as he was enjoying himself doing other things from gardening to cooking, bridge, training the dogs, a whole heap of things that on the surface don’t appear to “achieve” anything but he found highly pleasurable and luckily didn’t have to have the extra money

Conclusions for me:

This has led me to ponder that perhaps it is helpful to look at the period of life when wedded to work ais the abnormal time.  We start as children, learning exploring, playing. As we grow older this becomes directed into “What are you going to be when you grow up” often with a focus on exams, self –discipline, a sacrifice of hobbies and play to ensure you get on well i.e. get a good job, earn lots of money and are secure, important values in the post war generation..  There was less on how to balance your life, how to manage change and the lows of life. Being a baby boomer we were expected to do well and for the world to be our oyster.

Perhaps we should now regard retirement as a return to the days of childhood, when time was for your own pleasure, learning, exploring, playing. The bit in between – work -is the abnormal part. With retirement we return to ourselves.

Importantly for me I have also realised that hobbies such as gardening far from being the refuge of the retired, are seen to be done by the retired as it is only then that they can be pursued with the time they require. Prior to this work can make it hard to keep up.  This is the same for all time consuming hobbies.

All this makes me feel more positive towards my later years.